D Day reluctantly arrived for me yesterday. Had to be in Pretoria at 11am for my re-test (drivers). To fill urself in, read article: ‘Precious Time and Money Wasted‘ As you can well imagine, I was so not in the mood to go through all of this again. I would rather watch paint dry or go for tooth surgery.

We arrive at the Pretoria Testing Station in Watloo (for some strange reason I have the old song Waterloo running through my head now), only to realise I am at the wrong place! I am meant to be at the Pretoria College, as this is the place where are the appeals are forwarded. So now, trap all the way to the other side of the world to endure painstaking torture.

Finally arrive at my final destination (now I am thinking of the horror flick and realising that this is equivalent to one) Ring the bell at Reception desk and some grumpy african woman (TPA) they call themselves hardly even looking at me takes me for my test.

I start chatting to her trying to break the ice and at least crack a smile from moody blues, only to be completely snubbed!! She was completely and utterly unresponsive and downright rude. I will not let this bitch put me off I tell myself. I think they actually do it on purpose, to intimidate so it’s easy to fuck up and fail.

As I start approaching the car I have visions of getting in,turning the ignition on and mowing the bitch down. Now wouldn’t that be a sight. Okay, back to reality, get my bearings and decide that the best way to mow this bitch down is to be as calm as can be and DO THIS!

So I DO IT! I manage to finally get on the road, obey all my traffic road signs, do all the 5 point checks, give an outstanding emergency stop, that she lifted from her seat. Anway back to the grounds, I then ask her if I passed or not.

Mumbling to me, she tells me that she cannot disclose this to me as yet, reason being that a report has to be sent through as all appeals are handled this way. Policy, procedure, call it fucken what you want, I think it’s absurd. I mean, how the fuck do I know where I went wrong if it so happens she decided to fail me. It all just seems very weird to me. But it’s policy, new South Africa. Fucken grates my liver.

So now I wait.