I have been summoned to do a presentation for Coke.  Hmmm I wonder what size mirrors will be used, long or short straws.  Okay, on a more serious schnarf, erm I mean note; I have less than a week to prepare and to date this is my first.  I am a wee bit on the edgy side of things.

 I am all for public speaking do not get me wrong; especially after a few rounds of tequilas and straight vodka shots.  Friends call me the ’social-butterfly of the group, but to stand up in front of a bunch of Corporates and talk about something I have fairly a clue about is a different pickle of fish altogether.

Why my boss has selected me for this gruelling task eludes me completely.  Perhaps I should start off the Presentation with vodka scones, warm things up a bit and get everyone slightly trashed so they will not know the difference between ‘Hogwash and Hogwash.’

I feel as motivated as Bovril on a piece of dry Wheatbix and believe me I have tried this on a 10 day diet plan I once was on.  Gross.

 Moving along.. I have a far off and distant memory of once being involved in a Public Speaking Contest for my High School and even though I had a brilliant speech prepared, was normally one of the best at giving speeches in my school, I was still as nervous as a sweaty Groom on his Wedding Day. My heart pounded like a thousand drums beating around a Carnivore Ceremonial Supper. Where do I come up with this shite?

Anywho, the point I am attempting to make is how on earth am I going to survive the mental preparation of trying to explain how to work a certain programme, I am not good at teaching, demonstrating things.

What I can easily demonstrate is how to down a shot of tequila with a squeeze of lemon and a lick of salt off the hand.

HELP!