I cannot begin to explain how well fucked off I am of late and no it’s not premenstrual, maybe bipolar behaviour who knows. I have pondered the fact of perhaps diagnosing myself with being bipolar, seeing my moods are ever so erratic and from one extreme to the next, it’s crazy.

But what conclusion I would rather entertain is that the whole planet has the pendulum swing of delusional moods and emotions; and it just seems to be rubbing off on everyone else. People are beginning to irritate me to beyond and beyond.

Decided to have my hair done last week Thursday just down the road from where I work. I had only been there once before and the job of having my hair blow dried seemed good enough to endure another visit. Having arrived there, I decided I would give myself the treat of also having a trim this time around.

The same hairdresser seated me in the chair and started chopping, however she just seemed so uncomfortable, the impression I got was that she did not cut hair that often. Ignoring my hunches, I let her continue the job. Once she had finished blow drying my hair, I noticed it didn’t look as good as the last time I came around. Needless to say, I paid the money and left, R270! for a trim and blow dry!! Daylight robbery if you ask me.

Then, this Saturday while blow drying my own hair, I had a Huge Bitch Fit, I noticed that every single strand of my hair was uneven and that my once evened out layers were now choppy and misplaced. I freaked out that my cats scattered out the bedroom as if a bomb had dropped. Now that called for a “Catastrophe” (no pun intended). Grabbed my cell and phoned the salon:

Me: Hi, I would like to speak to the owner/manager of the salon please

*Dopey: Yes, may I ask what this is in connection with?

Me: Certainly, I came through two days ago for a trim by one of your hairdressers and have noticed while blow drying my own hair today that my hair is completely fucked up. She has done a terrible job, that I now have to go somewhere else to get it fixed. I am most upset about this.

*Dopey: Well, what was the name of the hairdresser that you came to see

Me: *Dopey

*Dopey: Oh (long pause) who am I speaking to? Oh well _________ it is *Dopey speaking, I am terribly sorry, would you like to come in and have me fix it for you?

Me: Hell No! you messed my hair up, what makes me think you not going to mess it up even more, no, what I would like is my money back , of which I might add was ridiculously priced, R270! for a trim and blow dry and my hair is not even that long. I want my money back please.

*Dopey: I am so ever terribly sorry, I will get the manager to phone you back.

Me: Thank you.

Ring Ring

I answer cell, manager of salon is talking to me asking me to come round to show the botched up job of one of the hairdressers. I agree I will come round before they close and before my appointment with my original hairdresser down the road from my house.

On arriving there, I now have to wait for the manager as she is still busy with someone. Not impressed. Eventually, she attends to me. Has me seated and I begin to show her the choppy hairstyle and uneven pieces. She agrees and then asks me to take a seat by one of the basins. Okay? Now I’m really confused??? I say no thanks, she then proceeds to tell me that she would like to fix my hair up for me. So I kindly tell her that I have already made an appointment with my original hairdresser and would like to keep it that way.

Manager: So how do you suggest we rectify this matter (sarcastic tone)

Me: By giving me my money back!

Now she goes onto say that it is against ethics and not her policy of allowing me to go to another hairdresser to fix up the mistake

Me: What the fuck! I have every right to make the decision of where I would like to go, especially after having a bad experience at your salon, I do not feel comfortable coming here again.

Manager: it was your choice in coming here in the first place, so it is partly your fault

Me: WtF! are you crazy woman? basically what u are telling me is that I made the mistake of coming here in the first place, so basically what u’re admitting to is that your salon is Crap and a huge mistake, nice one. Look I don’t have time for this shit, either give me my money back or be prepared to get fucking scissor stabbed.

Manager: Fine, I will give you your money back.

Thank you fucking very much BIAAAAATCH!

PS: She also compared My Hair to Food at A Restaurant, saying that when someone does not like their food, they send it back and then get a free meal.

Whatever, I then proceeded to tell her firstly, we are not talking about food, but my HAIR, MY HAIR! and secondly if I don’t like the food at a restaurant I send it back and never return, as we all very well know what they do to your food in the back. Dumbo!

PSS: The hair is sorted now thanks to my Original Hairdresser ( I promise I will never stray again)